あいじなに Me!

people often said that people who ry a lot are weak and a crybaby
but I find that people who often cry
are people who are able to recover from anything in a brief time

I’m envious of these people
doesn’t mean that you cry alot you’re weak
it shows how strong you are

unlike some people who don’t cry
and people see so confident and strong
I’m speaking about myself actually

one of the reason why I was called an ice queen…
I don’t cry…I never cry…in front of anyone
but once in a while
when you too much pressure and things going on
even the minor things can make me cry
but it’s very hard for me to cry

That’s why if I cry…
I cry to my hear’s content
I always feel much better after I cry

the funny thing is
I can actually count how many times I’ve cried in the last 3 years
and it’s below 5 times…mmhmm…I’m cold
but if you feel the urge to cry
just cry…if you feel like crying….just do
and the heck what people think of you

today I classify as a good normal day
Lyssa came over yesterday by the ways…
we were watching animes….Tsubasa Chronicle…or in english the Chronicles of Wings…
I think they’re showing it in Animax now…
but we’ll see after 31 of August lah
since Animax will be availble on Astro after that…waii

okay that was the old me talking…I missed the old me
who loves anime…and practically thinks that she lives in the anime world
well that was her wish…and biggest dream…:P
gosh…I totally wished and wishes that Hiiragizawa Eriol from Card Captor Sakura exist…
I’ve been in love with the character since like forever…okay since I was 13+

anyways I wanted to write something else actually…
last Thursday me, Carmen, Soph, Nelly and Marci went to Bangsar…
I didn’t drink of course…if anyone said they drink plain water when they went clubbing
they’re lying…because I only know one person who’d do that…and that would be me…mmhmm
and that’s not a joke…

so anyways…we went Ablsolute …Bangsar is full of Indians…I heard that lot…but that day I saw it with my own eyes…yerp alot of Indians…
from all those people…I can say that we were the most "muhibbah" group…
Chinese, Malay, Indian, Kenyan, and Zimbawe-an…
very multi-racial…I like that…alot…

so we got a table…I’m not much of a dancer…well I don’t dance…
I’m am a person who goes clubbing but I am not a clubber
so basically I just sit there…
Carmen felt guilty leaving me there…but I said it was okay and I like to observe

everyone went crazy when the DJ put on the Tokyo Drift song from Teriyaki Boyz…
finally something Japanese…mind me…I’m basically a Japo freak…
I like almost everything Japanese…I’ll say thank you anime for that
and so I was sitting there and just enjoying the loud music
there’s a guy who sat beside me
and he was gesturing he wants to talk to me…
so I hear lah kan…I didn’t quite heard what he said so I ignore him lah

the girls came back to the table..they had their drinks..and me and Carmen ordered Cranberry juice
they went back to the dance floor and the guy talked to me again
I replied him in Japanese hinting that I don’t understand English…:P
Carmen came back…and the guy asked me again……guess what he asked?
"Berapa satu malam?" which means "How much is one night?"…
I was so pissed I told him…"What the hell do you want man?"
me and Carmen stood up and just walked out…

we got the girls and walked out…
Carmen made a conclusion…maybe the guy thought I was a pimp…as in mother hen…
which I find very very insulting and funny
we were laughing the whole night
after that we went to Maideen and had our really really late dinner…okay it was supper…
practically Taman Connaught was so quiet…
it’s the holidays..that really shows that Sedaya’s students are the life in Taman Connaught

We slept over at Nelly’s and Carmen went back home….
Marci and Nelly was talking the whole night…I mean morning…Soph call it a night first…
I kinda try to infect them with the Japanese virus…
I think I was successful on Soph….because she can’t stop humming "Keep tryin" from Utada Hikaru
I kinda feel proud there
but it seems very hard to break the wall on Carmen, Nelly and Marci…
they’re very into the normal music now…:P…now I feel like the odd one out…well Iam
hehe…but that’s not a bad thing right?

Today I went to kak Yong’s wedding in Bangi…
Iskan said he’ll be there …he did but I was already at the Nilai tol by the time he arrived there
before I went to her wedding….I went to Labu…somewhere near where I live if you’re wondering
my classmate’s wedding…yerp…she’s also 19…and she gotten married today
I was like…oookay…marriage is not something in my near future…for sure…
I’ll make sure of it because I still got too many things to do and achieve
I’m a very ambitious girl…even Vivian said so when she first met me…
I miss talking to her the conversation I had with her was and will always be different from the ones
I always had with my other friends…I like them all…

My dad always told me that I’m mature and wise for my age…it’s a compliment…
He said "You dress, talk and act your age, but you think like someone who’s 40."
I guess that’s a compliment…even my Aunty Minah said so…
and this so called mature girl is so in love with anime…which people will call childish
but I love being childish…to certain people…if it’s not now when should I be childish, right?
when I was younger I was forced to grow up
my mom burned my barbie dolls…hence after that incident I somewhat turned into a tomboy

trust is an issue that I have problem with…I don’t trust people easily…it takes time and wit
and it’s not something everyone can gain…
Don’t treat me like a fool just because I act childish, bubbly and friendly…
I’ve been through shits…grew out of it…I was not called an Ice Queen for nothing…
and my dad don’t call me old for nothing…mentally old I can say….
even Lyssa’s mom said that…I’m not the typical girl around my age…

somehow I do find myself figuring what I just said…it kinda just came out…which is weird…
when I say someone is weird…it doesn’t mean they are weird…there’s a hidden meaning to it…
I feel I’m too old for all teenage dramas…but I’m only 19…I wonder why I feel that way
sometimes I feel like I have a 40 year old soul and a 19 year old body…gah…

I sound so emo…
okay Lyssa I’ll listen to you and be "Genki!"
Genki! Genki! Watashi ganbatte!!!

p/s: I found a black hole…and it’s really deep
p/s: I don’t literally meant that…there’s a hidden meaning behind it
p/s: I wonder if what I wish for will ever come true
p/s: I do wish and hope what my wishes will come true, academic wise, personal wise and life wise
p/s: I love all my friends…and you know who you are
p/s: I am that old am I?
p/s: Lyssa and few of my friends told me I should date a Japanese guy or a foriegner…no locals..:P
p/s: I got the car back…and the bill was and is astronomical
p/s: papa said he’s cutting my allowance to pay for the car
p/s: I should work to earn money so I can pay papa back
p/s: I miss Jue…I wanna go Johor
p/s: I wanna go to an Island…I wanna go Perhentian…and Dungun to visit my bro
p/s: I was not at all dissapointed…well for a while…I’m more of feeling emo and satisfied
p/s: thanks to my dad’s friend for the birthday present…the friend gave me the travel pack Kenzo flower…Suki desu!!! Honto ni ureshii!!! It was very thoughtful…
p/s: Raj…I’m only kidding about the Lamborghini okay? So don’t worry
p/s: I can’t wait for the "makan-makan" this Saturday
p/s: I wanna go…please let me go…please let me start…please let me get it…
p/s: I want shoes….that is something I kinda lack of

I am about to tell the tale about today….
it was a very interesting day…
like very interesting….

I started the day by waking up early…
my dad’s friends came over and we had breakfast together…
and then my uncle came …and I took of went to Sophia’s place to pick her up

so we went straight to Lim Kok Wing to pick up Ed…
but before reaching there…we were fined
because the road tax was already past the date….
it was dead on the 11th of August and today was 16th….
whatever lah kan….so after that
and went to UCSI to pick up Marcy…
and we went straight to Genting…
the journey was okay…

but Genting was misty…
I was so excited because the first and last time I went there
was when I was 9 or 10….
which is around 9 to 10 years ago….
so it was misty and it was raining
we went coffee bean and had coffee…it was so good

basically the themepark was closed due the weather…
we were dissapointed …
and finally we went to first world plaza
we went for the Haunted house and Ripley’s thingy
it was fun…
and had lunch after that…
I think it’s dinner rather than lunch…because it was already 6….

so after that we drove down lah…
something doesn’t really feel right….but …I kinda shove it of…
so we drove to Ed’s place to pick up some of his clothes…
and then we went to college to pick up some of Marcy’s stuff…

and we were on our way back…
but the car was making noises….and I feel the aircond was hot…
I stopped the car by the road side just right after the IOI resort…
the car was…smoking….
and the water was dry…
and the temperature was….over Hot….
I was……
OMG….thank goodness Marcy, Ed and Soph was there
if they weren’t I don’t know what I’ll actually do…
I called my dad….
told him everything
while waiting for him
Soph was so worried of me…
that’s why in situations like this……
you really do need really good friends…
I am lucky that I have that

and we waited in the car ….waiting for my dad to come
so after some time my dad arrived with his two best pals…
Pak Yong and Pak Amai….
it really pays to have good friends…
as in true friends…
It is so great that Pak Yong owns his own workshop
so he is basically a full fledge certified mechanic…

he checked the car…
the engine can’t be started…
so he called for a tow truck…
my dad sent Ed back to his college with Soph…
me and Marcy waited with the two uncles….

I feel so bad….
I take full responsibilities for whatever happened today
My dad warned me about checking the water level
but I didn’t…
I was so careless…
it’s true shit happens….
but everything happens for a reason…
God is fair
God loves us….
I am just so thankful that everyone are fine….
thank god
and thank you for my dad and the two friends….
I feel so bad to have to bother papa….

but I’m really glad that he is my dad….
I am glad that I have Ed, Soph and Marci as my friends….
and they were with me….
I don’t know what I would’ve done if I was alone

but I am very thankful that we are all safe…
and now safe back at my home…
you always learn things the hard way I think…
and this lesson totally smacked me onto the ground

I swear to god that I will always make sure that everything is fine….
I need to learn more about cars…

it was a very interesting day
it was total road trip…
I regretted that i had to bother my dad and make him worried
but I did not regret having a great day with my friends….

yes it was a very interesting day

p/s: next time I think I’ll take the bus…but I’m afraid of taking the bus….so I think I’ll go with people who always go there or family or friends….but of course I will prefer to go with friends…

tomorrow will be my last paper for this sem…
OMG how exciting can that be
I have to so bloody pass this semester
then I’ll be a full feldge college student
as in start my degree lah

well going to see quite less of my friends
since in the whole group
I’m the only one taking B.A. Hons English Language and Communication
which is kinda sad
but I’ll do my best to spend a lot more time with my besties

no one should separate us…
Carmen, Vivian, Mel, Soph, the Hotte Babes (Pyaree is leaving…so sad), Raj, Iskan, Sultan, Marci, Saranya, Nelly, etc….and ooh my beloved tutor Chu Chien…:P…she is basically my number 1 idol….and oh yes I almost forgot the three stooges….Ravi, Daniel, Nick and of course Sue Ann….

Well it’s kinda visible that my college life is pretty cool…
I never thought it would be
I mean all the drama
All the fun
All the chaos…
OMG it was…awesome…as Lyssa likes to put it

and lately I’ve become a total friendster addict…
haven’t been downloading anything for quite sometime
my favourite TV series
my favourite animes
Music Station, Music Fighter, CDTV, Utawara Hot Hit 10, Ouran High School Host Club, Naruto, Gokusen 2 and so on…

Kurosagi was finally finished….in case anyone’s wondering what’s Kurosagi is
it’s a Japanese drama with Yamashita Tomohisa in it….in case you don’t know who that is
he is in a Japanese boyband called NewS…in case you also don’t know that
it’s a Japanese boyband…try and google it…you’ll find it…or wikipedia
Kurosagi is actually adapted from a manga…
I’ve never read it…because I don’t think I can find it here in Malaysia
but lately I think I found them in Kinokuniya….
it kinda appears after the drama started…

it kinda amazes me on how friendster connect people
Right now I’m excited looking for my friends from college and schoolmates
Finally my schoolmates actually have a friendster account
and I remembered in school
during computer class….
everyone was like….what is a a mouse….it was damn funny

but now I am so proud and glad that they all know how to use the internet…waiii!!!
ooh and I talked to Yen Nee on MSN yesterday….I missed her
I remembered during Economics class in my first sem….
and all the jokes that we had…it was fun
and now she’s so happy…with her newly found bf…
they look so cute together…and the guy is so cute too…
she’s actually dating a Malay…which I find very cool
I love the fact that most of my friends are very multiracial…

like Carmen, she’s dating an Arab…Mel, she’s dating a Nigerian…and etc…
in a way I find it really cool
since I grew up ….I never really know what racist means
since I was in a Chinese primary school
and everyone treated me like I’m one of them

but I remembered when I was nine…
I went to my cousin’s school
it was a Malay school
everyone was looking at me like I’m some kind of an alien….
like seriously, an alien…
is it because I look different from them?
I don’t think so….
I know I’m not a studen there but…
you don’t stare at people like that especially when you don’t know them…

but anyways…I fidn Malay school to be funny…
but alas….I was in a Malay high school….gah…
okay lah…basically it was okay…
but the first year was…dreadful…and I mean it….period….

people don’t really like me I think….
because I was from a Chinese school
and I mix with a lot of Chinese …obviously lah kan…because I know them…
and they are my friends since kindergarten…
and the Malays find it very hard to adapt with me….
and the fact that my mom was a teacher in the school
and was teaching my class didn’t really help …

I was labeled as a wannabe I think
and the fact that I’m  not really like you typical average girl also is another issue
I was a super tomboy…
I act, I walk and talk like a guy…
the only thing that actually sets me apart from a guy
is that I actually have boobs, and long hair (my mom won’t let me cut it…since my hair was always short during primary school)
and I was also called "Big Show" and "The Rock"…
because why?…
physical wise, I am big….and I do and am was a gangster….
I actually did hit and punched people…

OMG looking back to those high school days…
how much have I changed?
I can say a lot…like…ultra alot…

only recently I find myself to be bubbly and slightly girlish
everytime I crossed my legs…
Sophia will tell me…."I need to teach you how to be a girl"
I will laugh everytime she said that
because….remembering I was in school…mmhmm….I do need to learn how to be a girl

Never have I imagine that I’ll wear a skirt…
as in willingly and liking it…
and now I do…I like skirts…
I’m a girl…OMG I am a girl…
wait…..I was born as a girl…
and yeah basically I am a girl
but I am still very new
with the whole girl thing
like the drama, the cat fights….and etc…
I don’t really understand it…
and the fact that my best schoolmates were almost all guys…
and to think I was the only girl in school
that the Indians were threatening to beat me up
but they didn’t because I beaten them up first…:P
Okay that is something i should leave behind…hehe
and better I don’t elaborate on it…:P

pretty excited to take my exam tomorrow that I can’t really sit still
because after that maybe and I hope so…
me and a few girl friends are going to Genting
the first and last time I went to Genting was when I was only 10…and that was it
so I’m very much excited….

Maybe I should have a slumber party at home…
I’ll invite the girls over to my house…since basically no one is at home
except me…my dad and my maid…and papa is like…
always not really at home…he’s like a chipsmore
Now you see him….now you don’t….
Plus he’s so busy with his retired life now….
Papa poyo!!!
plus the fact that my brothers aren’t often at home
and my sis in India some more…
so I have the whole house for myself…
solitude…

Today had my Office Application paper….OMG second last paper…
after that hanged out in the Cafe in block A….
with Carmen & Sophia….and then Raj came…
he said he wants to study together but ended up just hanging out
Carmen had Computing Essentials paper so she went with Iskan…
so it was me and Sophia…and Shama came…so just borak2 lah kan

after that Sophia’s mom picked her up to go some where….
so finally I told Raj…"Let’s go minum2 lah"
so me, Raj and the HotteBabes went to Nasi Kandar in Giant…
and after that we had McD’s Sundae cone….yummy…
Pyaree came after that….she just finished her presentation…
and she passed…omdedeto….in case anyone’s reading this don’t know what that means…
it means "congratulation" in Japanese
and here I am now…after the whole episode…:P…at home…a total friendster addict…

after exam I can go over my uncle’s house …and play badminton with my cousins…
I miss that alot…
the last time I remembered I had a little match with Daniel…my cousin…
we were with the rackets for 2 hours straight…
and the next day…I can barely move my arms….:P
we played at night because it’s cold…I love cold…
I love the sun but I hate the heat….
all the endorphines produced during the game…
not really good in it…but love it…

ooh and yes…I need to start playing bowling again
the last time I played my points wer eso bad…
I won’t even look at it….
that’s what happened when you’re too busy with your social life
and forget your passion in bowling
I think maybe I need a new ball
or I just need to do the balancing for the ball…
maybe I need a heavier ball…

I miss the bowling club…
and the weekly practice….
That’s the thing I missed most about school
Co-Curriculum activities…
because I was very active….
in everything….
sports…bowling…..academic….debate, public speaking….and coaching the debate team….
yes I love the debate team…because Pn yuslina is so funny and that’s where I actually met Lyssa
I was her coach….
and we hit of very well because we’re both are Japo freaks….
and Carol also…and Jason….

I miss them all….
and in the end….I thought I dun wanna write anything here….but see lah how long this thing is now…I love writing …what can I say?

yeah and probably I talk too much….

why do I even open a blog here?
I don’t even write anything in here
but what the heck
I love writing

so anyways I see that loads of people are really ‘rajin’ to actually write something here
so I figure I’d write something too
:PP
but not today….so lazy…:P

agagagaga